Happy Birthday, 'Merica!

The days are drawing closer. Ten days to be exact, until the biggest day in our beautiful country. Independence Day just happens to be my most favorite holiday of all time.

I come from an extremely patriotic family with a long line of Military service members. One of my Grandfather's retired from the U.S. Army after serving in more than one war, as a Lt. Col. Another Grandfather was a Tech Sgt in the USMC and another served in Korea with the U.S. Army. I have many uncles, and cousins as well who have proudly serve or are currently serving. From a wee child, love and pride for my country has been instilled in me. I have cried through the Star Spangled Banner for as long as my memory takes me.

When my husband enlisted in the U.S. Army, 8 years ago, that pride welled even more. Each time I saw him off to an ugly war in a foreign land and every time our children and I welcomed him home, the pride and love for this great country swelled yet even more as my pride in my husband's selfless service overwhelmed me.

How lucky am I? I can't count the times I thought that. My very own husband was one of the few American's who willingly signed their lives away by writing a blank check to the United States Government for an amount up to their own lives. They live with the mission of protecting American's from all enemies, foreign and domestic.

It wasn't until 2009 that I realized what this War on Terrorism had done (and taken) from my husband. I had heard of post traumatic stress disorder, however, I didn't think or expect MY husband would have it. I was naive to it, too ignorant to understand how serious it was. The Army nor the FRG had prepared me for this. No one told me that it was probable that my husband would come home different. See, the man I knew and loved never made it home from his first deployment, he's still mostly stuck in Afghanistan. Six years later and I'm still not ready to share our whole story with the entire world, yet. But I can say that my husband nearly didn't survive his PTSD...twice. Our marriage BARELY made it through the worst of it. We've had a long and hard battle the last six years. We're finally in a place where we are able to easily recognize his triggers. We know what situations to avoid and what we need to do to prepare for certain events so that we can enjoy them should we decide he is up for it. We work TOGETHER now, rather than against each other. The D word is never uttered anymore, nor is it thought. We have good days, bad days and even ugly days. However, the ugly days are fewer and fewer than ever now. PTSD HAS NO CURE!! It is something that will forever haunt my husband. But with regulated meds (finally, after 5 years) and therapy, he has been able to make leaps and bounds in his progress and coping skills.

My husband is NOT afraid. He'd take the devil himself on in a hot second. He'd be the first in line to volunteer to fight ISIS. He is NOT afraid! But he lives every day of his life with the memories and nightmares of a war that has never left him. That does not make him weak. Quite the contrary, he's the strongest and most brave man I know. To have been through and to have seen all that he has, and to still face every day with optimism, to still be an amazing father, husband, and provider, blows my mind. I admire his strength more than he'll ever know. As his wife, lover, and best friend, I will do everything I can to stand up for him and protect him from those who try to attack and shame him, from those who do not understand. It's not their fault but I will not let ignorance put another nail in a coffin. I will spread awareness and help to educate others on PTSD and the symptoms.

So as the 4th of July draws closer, I'll anticipate my favorite holiday of all time. I will gently remind others to be courteous with their fireworks.
                 -This raises another questions. What does it mean, exactly, to be courteous with fireworks? It basically means, please don't shoot them off in the middle of the night. Please don't shoot them off every day leading up for an entire week or afterwards. Please don't shoot them off in the yard of a combat veteran.

It's not asking others to refrain from enjoying themselves and celebrating the best day of the year. See, with PTSD, fireworks sound like bombs and mortars going off. It can trigger flashbacks that can affect them severely for weeks following. A combat vet suffering with PTSD can make proper arrangements for the 4th of July, whether that be secluding themselves or taking their "as needed" anxiety meds which are a little stronger. There's a small difference between knowing something is coming-and being able to brace yourself for it and being taken by surprise. There's a difference between being in control of your situation and environment and not being in control.

As my husband and I plan to make the 4th of July the most pleasant experience for our family as possible, we want to wish you and your family a very, very happy Independence Day! I hope you take the time to thank your nearby Veteran's and Active Duty Service Members who, if it wasn't for them, have ensured our beautiful country remain the Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.

XOXO,
Laura

Feelings of Nostalgia

My husband enlisted in the Army nearly 8 years ago. Honestly, that doesn't seem like a very long time but in the Military community, it's a lifetime. I've grown a lot over the last (near) decade. I've learned a lot about who I am and who I want to be, the type of people I want to surround myself with, what I want out of life, what expectations I have, the type of mother and wife I want to be and so much more. I've experienced self discovery, heartache, tragedy, loss, overwhelming joy, pride, humbleness, burdens, trust, compassion, empathy, and growth.

To date, my husband has served two combat tours in effort of Operation Enduring Freedom. He's seen things I couldn't begin to imagine and as a result, is forever a different person. My family has been put through the wringers of PTSD and TBI, all of which are stories for another day. But I will say that it has taught me so much and made me a better person and wife. I've learned so much about what is important to me in life.

About a year and a half ago we made our most recent PCS to an Army post in the South. I've dreamed of living in the South since I was a little girl. I have roots down here and I've always felt a calling to the South. When my husband came down on orders for here I was over the moon filled with excitement and wonder like a small child. I've always been a country girl. Little did I know that a country girl from the West is so much different than a country girl from the South.

I respect the South and I do feel my southern roots down here, but there's one thing I've become to accept and love. I am a Northwest girl and I always will be. I belong in the West. I'd rather go to the rodeo than a high school football game any day. I'd rather go up to the mountains and have a midnight bonfire with family, friends and beer than hit up the Broadway strip in Nashville, concert or hockey game.

You see, in the Pacific Northwest we have a history unlike any other. We have so many things to boast about. We're about so much more than hippies, grunge, and rain. We're misunderstood by the rest of the country east of the Mississippi and north of the Great Divide. If you ever have the chance to visit, do it! We have some of the most spectacular and breathtaking mountain peaks in the world. We have hot springs, a rain forest, beaches, wild flower fields, mountains, gorges, pike place market, COFFEE, wine, countless vineyards, cowboys, car shows, boat shows, rodeos, ferry rides, orca watching, beaches, the freshest air, evergreens for miles, the largest apple industry in the world, endless beauty, countless beautiful hiking trails, state fairs, and a rich Native American culture. We offer a blend of all cultures and a diverse history of our own.

My love for my home state has grown intensely over the last decade. There's so much you take for granted when you live somewhere, I know this more than most. It's hard, in the moment, to focus on anything other than the negative. You see, my home town gets a bad rap. Yes, the crime rates have risen (they have EVERYWHERE!). However, when you can look beyond that to the beauty that is my home, you realize that there truly is no other like it. Where else can you get 4 seasons, hot summers, cold winters, 300+ days of sunshine per year, a days drive to a number of amazing state parks, minutes from the mountains, hop festivals and more!

I miss home so much. I miss how much simpler our lives were before the Army pulled us away. I miss family. I miss small town Yakima and having the freshest produce. Life in the Army has put such distance between us and the friends we used to have and family. I've never felt so lonely in my entire life. I often day dream of our future when the Army is a memory I can reflect on. I can't wait until the day that my husband and I can root our family, purchase our forever home and watch my children make life long friendships. Home is comfort. Home is where our family is. Even with all the drama and day to day none sense, family is the only thing you have at the end of the day.

If there's one thing the Army life has taught us, it's to live in the moment and to never take anything for granted. I see so many from my home town gripe about this and that and complain over petty things. But those are things that I yearn to experience again. "There's nothing to do here", yeah...I used to say that too. But trust me, all you have to do is get out! Take a step outside yourself and see everything there is surrounding you and the beauty of it all. The grass is not greener on the other side.

I just hope and pray that by the time we get to say goodbye to this lifestyle and re-enter the civilian world, and move back home, that we will no longer feel lost and forgotten. I pray that my children will still be young enough to remember their childhood growing up with the same family memories I grew up with. I yearn for the big family get together's and BBQ's and trips up to the mountains. I pray that we transition well from the chaotic and stressful life we currently live.

For now, I will continue to day dream...
...there's no place like home...

"Dependa"-NOT!

I want to share something with the web world that has been bothering me for some time. When I say time, I mean, days...weeks...months...and now, years. There is a title that has been placed upon "Army Wives". I use that term in quotations as to purposely not say spouses-this term has been attached to the women who are married to Soldiers, exclusively and predominately. "Dependa". Oh how that word makes me cringe. Here is a quote from Urban Dictionary:

Dependa-

A person who is married to someone in the service who doesn't just depend on their spouse for financial support, but pretty much relies on them for it. They start out all cute and All-American until after the wedding, then it's like cookies, couch and coach purses. Arguing with other dependas over Facebook all day over who's the bigger dependa. They're generally not educated and have no goals or aspirations in life. They live their lives through their husband's successes and think they rank and are better than "civilians" when they themselves are in face...still civilians.

You can usually find them at the PX and/or commissary like a herd of cattle during every pay period blowing their spouse's paycheck on oreos, Coach and Michael Kors and then complaining 2 days after "they" got paid that they're broke and need someone to deliver them free diapers for their 6th baby. (also see "dependa-twat", "dependasaurus" and "dependapotomus")

-"My husband and I just got married last month, what are some websites that give free stuff to military wives?"
--"Shut up dependa."

-"I got married to My Marine, he's going to take care of me now. No more working at Taco Bell for this girl!" 

This is the stigma that my fellow Army Wife Sisters carry with us every single day. This is the chip on our shoulder. This is why we fear going out in public, wearing the wrong thing, showing too much support or pride, having too many children-you name it.

Now, as you read the above "definition" of a "Dependa", you may think back to the old term-"tag chaser". I used to too...until recently. The above is a very loose description of what "people" believe we are. Let me bring it down to basics, according to the people who throw this term around, basically, if you are Brown DOD Dependent ID Card Holder and not an Army Brat...you're automatically in this category-HOGWASH. Any action you may or may not take on ANYTHING in life, whatsoever, you risk being publically flamed on a variety of social media sites that are dedicated to "outing" us.

I just have to stand up on behalf of my fellow Army Wife Sisters and say that if anything, (from the words of Mollie Gross), I am my husbands INDEPENDENT!

A little over one year after we were married, my husband and I made the joint decision for him to follow his dream of serving in the United States Army. He always wanted to be a Soldier, to fight for his country, to stand up for what he believed in. Coming from a highly patriotic family, I was eager to support him in this decision. I went with him into the recruiters office, I saw the numbers for the E-fuzzy pay and allowances. We understood that by taking this new path in life, with a brand new baby in tow, we would essentially be going from a household with two full time incomes, to one. We took a pay cut. But with this pay cut, we gained stability in a way we could never pay back. We also gained health insurance, something myself and our newborn child did not have due to the high costs through our jobs.  

I say all of this so that you can understand that despite the assumptions of others, I didn't choose to follow my husband "for the money". I chose to follow my husband and support him because I believed in him, our country, and our military. I was eager to join a community of like minded individuals. I was eager to share my pride in my Soldier with anyone and everyone. Not because I wore it as a badge of honor, or because I was bragging. But because my husband decided to make a life altering decision to join an elite group of people who selflessly serve our country in the heat of an ugly war. I was so proud of how strong he was to take himself away from his first born son and young wife, how he was so willing to make enormous sacrifices in support of the greater good. I was also proud of myself. I went into this knowing that the possibility of becoming a young widow was real. I went into this knowing that I would be moved thousands of miles away from everything and everyone I knew, only to be on my own for weeks, months, and years at a time. 

Let me tell you, this life has been anything but easy. But I can promise you that it has guided me and molded me into the woman I am today. I have learned to lean on strangers when the time called for it. I have learned to suck up my pride and ask for help when I no longer feel like I can stand alone. I have learned to stand alone. I have learned to depend on no one else but MYSELF. I have learned what it really means to be INDEPENDENT. I've learned how strangers can become like family. I've managed 2 children, an infant in a carrier, and 8 care packages in a single trip to the post office. I've fixed appliances, fixed broken toys, assembled furniture, unpacked and set up an entire house for 5 and a dog, managed multiple sick kids while feeling like I was on deaths door myself, survived multiple emergency room trips and school funtions with other little ones in tow, wiped tears, soothed night terrors, shared my empty bed with a weepy and emotional toddler, potty trained all 3 of my kids single handedly, managed cross country trips alone with 3 kids under the age of 7-more than once. I mean, I could keep going on with the list, but that's really just besides the point-we've all been there, right? I am not bitter about doing any of these things without the phsyical presense of my husband. What I am bitter about, is being singled out in the world and having been slapped with a label that I don't deserve.

I spend my days, caring for my husband and my 3 children. I wake up at 0400 to make and pack my husband breakfast and lunch, because he will more than likely be working through lunch and not home by dinner time. I fix my kids breakfast and send my oldest off to school. I then start cleaning the house, which will be a repeated chore until my head hits the pillow that night. I will prepare lunch and send my middle child to preschool. I will read stories to my toddler and clean some more while she naps. I will prepare dinner and wash my 3 dozenth dish for the day. I will clean up spills, pick up dog poop, and tend to the yard. Amongst my busy days I still seem to manage a beautiful flower garden where I get a few minutes of peace to myself in the evenings.  Amongst all of these daily tasks, I have still managed to volunteer countless hours to the FRG and other organizations over the year.

Most of all, I stay faithful and supportive to my husband who sacrifices so much more than most men his age. He's missed most all of our children's biggest milestones in life. He's missed countless holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. He's missed saying goodbye to loved ones that he wasn't able to lay to rest. He's been to war multiple times. He's given his body and his mind to the United States Government to honorbly serve to protect this wonderful nation.

My husband is my hero, and I will be damned to walk around with the stigma that I am anything but an honorable Army Wife. I have made sacrifices as well, mostly in secret as to not take away from him. No, the sacrifices I have made over the last 7 years are not even comparable to his and I am FAR from perfect, but they do matter. I matter. All of us matter.

Do not succumb to the derogatory remarks and titles placed upon us. Do not waste your time fretting over this nonsense. Hold your head high, sweet heart, because you, YOU are better than that. You.ARE.Important! You matter. You are appreciated!

We have orders!!

My goodness, after nearly 6 years here at Fort Carson I never thought we'd see the day where we would finally have orders to PCS.  But we do!!  My husband came down on orders the beginning of July for Fort Campbell, KY!  I can't even begin to describe my excitement to you all!  I am beside myself!

Some of you may know, though, that we were trying to get a compassionate reassignment for Fort Lewis, WA due to my dad's health conditions.  But I suppose the big man upstairs had other plans.  And thankfully, my daddy is progressing in his recovery, though 100% disabled  and unable to work again.  Fort Campbell has always been high on our "wish" list, but did we think we'd ever actually get to go there?  This is the Army of course, haha....so no, we didn't.

Though we will now be roughly 35 hours from "home" I think we will find ourselves right where we were meant to be.  Nate and I are both, down to earth "country folk".  We like the small town, southern hospitality, and all things that come along with living in the south.  Aside from that though, we'll only be around 6 hours drive to my best friend, and still a days drive away from my sister and brother in law.  On top of that, we'll only be 45 minutes away from NASHVILLE!!  Oh yeah, that's right, country music central!  Can I get a "hell yeah"?!

When Nate enlisted in 2007, I had high expectations of moving around the country and getting to see and do things I might not otherwise be able to do.  Little did I know at the time that it wouldn't really work out that way.  Beings we've been here at Fort Carson for over half a decade now.  We were filled with so much excitement when he discovered he had orders for Campbell.

This last weekend we drove to Kansas (near Fort Riley) to visit my sister and brother in law.  And while I've been in humid area's of the country before, I really got a good taste of what we're in for.  But you know what, that's OKAY!  While I was sticky most of the time I was there, I embraced it.  We went to the zoo with all 4 of the kiddos (did I mention my adorable nephew?).  It was HOT!  Reallllllly hot.  I was drenched in sweat,. Imagine sitting in a sauna and the sweat is dripping off of every part of your body (gross right?).  Well, that was me.  But I just laughed it off.  I've got to get used to this, right?  However, I will say that I didn't itch once while I was there.  I never even needed to apply oil or body cream or anything.  And I have naturally dry skin.  It was kind of amazing.  So I guess what I'm trying to say is, while I really don't care for the humid climates all that well, I will survive the summers of the south.  And hey, maybe I'll finally be able to lose some of the extra weight I've been carrying around.  Because I'll be drinking like 15 gallons of water a day (okay maybe not that much. ;)   But you get my drift.

So what I am looking forward to?

• Actually being able to enjoy Autumn.  I haven't been able to experience the fall season in over 6 years.  Fall is my favorite season of the year.  Since we've moved to Colorado summer has been my favorite season because it's the only time we get some sort of heat around here.  Although, even that is hit and miss with all of the rain we get here.  When it rains here the temps drop about 20 degrees and it's cold...you can't even enjoy the rain.
• Southern hospitality. Need I say more?
• Being super duper close to my best friend, being able to watch my Niece grow up (because we'll likely be there for some time before we PCS again).  
• Green.  Green grass, green trees, TREES!  Omg, I can't wait to start growing food, planting insane amounts of outdoor plants and flowers.
• Outdoor activities year round!
• No snow!  Okay well virtually no snow.  Coming from where I grew up and from Colorado, it'll be nice to have mild winters without snow, bitter cold winds and the similar.  I don't do cold.  My kids don't even like it haha!
• Country music!
• Honky Tonks (provided we can get a babysitter on occasion).
• Being part of the 101st Airborne Division family <3 li="">
• Meeting new people, seeing new things, experiences new things.

My list goes on.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't a nervous wreck though.  Moving is nerve wracking.  My anxiety is high.  Will we get a house before Nate leaves for school?  Will we clear housing here without ending up in the poor house?  Will we have enough funds to move and temporarily live in a hotel?  Will we have enough room for all of the things we aren't letting the movers take?  And good golly....are we gonna get good movers or is our stuff going to get severely damaged enroute? How will Wyatt do transferring to a new school where he doesn't know anyone?  Will I even be able to get him back into school right away?  And on and on and on... My dad always called me a worry wart while I was growing up.  I guess he was right. :/

All these aside though, I'm just thrilled!  I can't wait to get there and get settled in and start our new journey in this Army life.

XOXO

Why I Love This Military Life

Let me tell you a little bit about my world and why I love it so much.  Why the thought of leaving it one day not only deeply saddens me but scares the livin' day lights out of me. 

My life is filled with uniforms and codes of ethic.  Acronyms and standards.  Rules and regulations.  Stress and tears.  Love and pride.  Pride that can't be explained with words.  Deployments, FTX's, TDY's, fun times and hardships.  Anxiety and fear.

I am awoken every morning by the bugle calls for reveile.  I go to sleep by the sounds of TAPS.  And when I hear the the bugles for retreat I know that my husband "should" be home soon for dinner-given that they aren't deployed, gearing for deployment, or on an FTX (lol).

I step out my front door at any given moment int he day and I am always surrounded by uniforms.  Uniforms worn by our nations unsung heroes.  Uniforms to which I owe my life and freedom to.  Unless you live this life, you haven't the slightest clue how security and pride can envelope and overwhelm a person.

I can step outside and see moving trucks.  Either families departing to a new duty station or new comers who have PCS'd here-to their new "home".

I can step outside and see children and parents hanging banners and signs.  Decorating their homes and cars.  I smile inside, knowing that little boy down the street is about to get his daddy back.

I can go to the Commissary, where I see many women-"single moms"-like myself toting several children while she gathers her families weekly groceries.  The pure look of stress in her eyes as she fights the urge to break down into tears.  I see the childless wife with a cart full of frozen dinners and junk food.  Because we all know how pointless it is to cook for one.  I see the retiree's with their spouses and I shoot them a smile.  I see those who have been inured during war, proudly walking in his new pair of legs.

The advantages of being a Military Spouse vs. a civilian one is that I am reminded EVERY SINGLE day (sometimes more than once) how important my husbands job is.  I am also reminded of how thankless it is.

Words cannot even begin to describe the overwhelming emotion and pride that paralizes you when you to to a welcome home ceremony.  Words cannot describe the fear a spouse has and the sounds of an unexpected knock at the door.

You see, the reality of becoming a widow in my twenties is far more real than for any of my civilian friends.  Sending your husband to fight a thankless war that many Americans fail to educate themselves on, not knowing if that is the last time that I will taste his kiss, is almost unbearable.  Will that be the last time I touch his face or feel his embrace?  Is that the last time I will stare into his eyes?  Is this the last time I will see him swoop his children up in a great big bear hug?

But I keep going.  I know have the job of two.  I am the only one now.  I am on my own, 20 hours from family.  I am my own backbone.

Many wonder how we do it.  Us spouses have to rely on each other.  Just as our guys become family with their battle buddies, our fellow Military Wives become each others family.  We UNDERSTAND more than ANY other person will, what each other is going thru.  Even if we don't walk it at the same times.  I would be lost without that hand to hold, helping offer, or shoulder to cry on.

After living the Army lifestyle and learning to love it, I don't EVER want to go back.  This is where I belong.  This is where I belong.  This is where I feel at home.  Because "home" is where the Army sends us.  "Home" is where my husbands plants his combat boots.

Religion & Politics

If there are two things I HATE discussing more than anything else, it's religion and politics. 

Some may argue it's because I don't know much about either.  Everyone can have their opinions.  I will be the first to admit that I don't know much about politics.  Honestly, I don't care to.  I have my opinions and I prefer to keep them to myself.

Religion, I know about Christianity.  I was raised in that religion.  I know my fair share of it.  Yet, people still feel the obligation to shove their religion (Christianity) down my throat.  Throw scriptures in my face as though I'm naive and uneducated in this area.

I'm getting to the point in my life where I honestly do not know what I believe anymore.  Because the Jesus I was once, did not treat people the way that Christians do these days.  The Jesus, *I* believed in did not "Bible Bash".  In fact, there was no Bible when he was walking the earth.  I'm so sick and tired of being made to feel "guilty" for not attending church or for the way I am raising my children.  I'm so tired of being looked down upon for decisions I have made in my life.  Or for the fact that my husband has different views and lots of doubts as well. 

Christians have this way of knowing everything about everytghing and making sure that everyone knows it and that we are all wrong for not following their ways, opinions, etc.

I really don't know what I am even trying to flippin' say at the moment.  My laptop is about to die for good and I just don't have the time to get my jumbled thoughts into a proper blog.  So yeah...

...I really don't know what I believe at this point.  I still pray, read a devotional, and teach my kids about the God I was raised to know.  But in my heart and mind I have many many questions and doubts. 

I'd love to take some world religion classes and learn about other religions more deeply.

At some point I will continue on with this mess of a blog and organize my thoughts to make better sense.

So go on....judge me like y'all always do in your hearts...

Deployment Confession # 23476515

Today I was required to attend the Fort Carson Garrison Council Meeting.  So that meant leaving all three of my babies at childcare while I was gone.  My older two (boys ages 4.5 and 3) have been to hourly care several times, but I hadn't taken them until last month.  Well, I had to leave my 8 month old daughter at day care for the very first time.

I had never left my boys at day care that young.  In fact, like I stated, they had never been until last month.  Poor Alliebug has been dealing with separation anxiety since my husband deployed.  If we are not home (and I'm not with her) she refuses to eat, nap, and cries non-stop.  I was so anxious about leaving her for fear she would just scream the entire time.  My poor baby girl needs her mama (or this is my thinking!).

So I drop the boys off in their classroom and walk down to the other end of the facility to drop her off, for the first time.  After I have labeled and put her things up and signed her in, I had to let her go.  I took a minute to snuggle next to her, kiss her cheeks, the top of her head, and whisper to her that mommy would be right back and that she would be okay.  As  I set her down, I kiss her one last time-and then it happens!  The TEARS!  I'm bawling my eyes out as I stand back up.  I was so humiliated.  I had not expected to cry.  I have left her with close friends before and I was fine.  This was different.  I was leaving my baby girl with strangers, albeit trained strangers, but still strangers.

As I went back out to my car, drying my eyes, I was reflecting on the sacrifices my husband has had to make regarding our children.  I couldn't help but feel guilty and a little bit selfish.


When Wyatt was 2 months old Nathan left for Basic Training and AIT.  When Wyatt was 16 months old he left for JRTC.  When CJ was 2 months old he left for his first deployment.  In between all of these he's also been gone for weeks on end on FTX's (field training exercises), etc.  And now he's had to say good bye to all 3 of our babies AGAIN for his second deployment.  As a mother, I could not imagine leaving my kids for any length of time, let alone almost an entire year.

What an incredibly strong person it takes to answer the call of duty and leave behind the strings of your heart. I could barely leave my baby for 2.5 hours, how in the world do our Military leave their children behind for months/years at a time?

I have the utmost respect for our Military and the sacrifices they make (great and small).  I couldn't do it.  So to those of you that do, thank you!  And please forgive me for being selfish.

xoxo

This life is not a contest (oh and the newest care package!)

I've been reading a new devotional that I purchased specifically for this deployment.  Faith Deployed-Daily Encouragement for Military Wives By: Jocelyn Green.  I'm only about 6 days in so far but I love it!  If you are spiritually inclined and looking for a great devotional to deal with Military Life, I highly recommend this one.

Day 4 struck a note with me.  It was titled Comparing Trials.  One thing I've noticed and am often annoyed with in this lifestyle is that everything is a "pissing match".  Every other wife/significant other thinking that they have it worse, or that their Soldier has it worse.  Then they compare their trials, tribulations, and hardships.  Seriously?  Does our Military not all work to the bone (especially during deployments)?  Do they not all work together?  Do they not all have the same stresses and hardships?  Yes, they do!

We all face deployments, some more often than others.  But the point is that we all face them at some point.  My husband is currently on his second.  Aren't they all hard?  Yes!

Do some Soldiers have more ammenties than others?  More communication avenues at their fingertips than others?  Yes.  But we should not be knocking down the wives who do get more phone calls/emails/skype dates than we do.  It's not their fault, it just happens to be the circumstances.  Do some of our husbands have slightly harder, more demanding jobs?  Yes, but that does not give us the right to become bitter towards those who may "have it easier" so to speak.

The bottom line is we are all dealing with the same thing...deployment.  We are all dealing with taking on a double load at home.  We are all dealing with separation and everything that comes along with that.  So why can't we just be happy for our fellow sisters and be a shoulder for the ones who may be struggling a little more than others?

Jealousy is an ugly thing.  Our first deployment was very rough.  Communication was awful and care packages too an eternity to get down range.  But I tell you one thing, each time I was able to hear from him was a blessing.  It may not have been often and it may have been broken up, but it was a blessing nonetheless.

Back in the wars throughout history, families back home were lucky to get a letter every couple of months.  Think about that before you become resentful.  Be happy that you have the communication that you DO have!

Here are a few excerpts from the book I want to share.

"As I listened to her share with broken voice and many tears, I'm ashamed to admit I had no compassion for her whatsoever.  The first thing that jumped into my mind was, 'You call that bad?  Try being a Military wife!  We hardly ever get to live near our extended families.  We don't even live with our own husbands half the time!' "


"I carried my 'I have it worse than you' attitude home with me that day.  I snuggled up to it to make myself feel more virtuous or worthy somehow.  But the tighter I held on to it, the less Christ was able to use me. I used my own trials as something to be proud of.  What a ridiculous thing to boast about!"


"Proverbs 14:10 says, 'The heart knows it's own bitterness and a stranger does not share it's joy.' When I read that verse, it seems to tell me that each person's burden causes him or her a pain that should not be diminished just because someone else has it worse.  It is impossible and worthless to compare trials.  A truly humble person would have compassion and bear others' burdens no matter how they 'rank' next to my own."


"In Galations 6:2, Paul does not say, 'Bear one another's burdens only if you deem the burden of sufficient magnitude.  If it isn't a big deal to you, go ahead and let your sister in Christ figure it out on her own.  She'll get over it, 'We are to bear another's burdens.  Period!"


"Philippians 2:4-5 tells us, 'Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.  Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus."

So as I close the first part of this two part blog, my prayers is that we can all look out for each other.  Neither become jealous or bitter of another's circumstances but feel blessed for what we do have and reach out to those that are struggling.  The Army life should never be a "I have it worse than you do" scenario.  We are all here for the same purpose, so lets remember that. <3




Okay....so my goal this deployment is to spice up the care packages I send to my Soldier.  This one was all lovey dovey and I had a ton of fun with it.  I filled it with goodies, nothing too spectacular, but I wanted him to smile when he opened it up and know that I put a lot of love and thought into it.  It took forever, and I know that once he's emptied it's contents it will be burned (they have to burn all of their mail-envelopes, packaging, etc for security reasons) but it's still fun nonetheless.  I also bought heart shaped card stock and wrote random love notes on them and tossed them in there amongst the goodies.  Here's the pic's!

A Mother's Work is Never Done

While I was doing my nightly chores (putting my house back together before my rugrats tear it all up again in the morning) I was reflecting on the words a sweet friend said to me.

How in the world do I do what I do every day.  Day in and day out?  Especially with a husband who is rarely around (and deployed at the moment)?  The answer...I HAVE NO CLUE!!

My boys wake up with the sun (sometimes before!) and my day starts.  Making their breakfast, getting them dressed and ready for the day (however we do have days where we stay in jammies all day!).  Then my 7 month old daughter is up and rearing to start her day.  Changing her diaper, getting her dressed, and making her breakfast.  Then I feed her, clean her up.  Of course before all this I have to let our two dogs outside and make sure they have fresh water.  Then I start on cleaning the kitchen, but not before I sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee!

During the day, I am preparing meals, doing laundry, answering a billion and one questions for my curious 4.5 year old, making phone calls, paying bills, keeping appointments, running errands, grocery shopping, preparing care packages for my Soldier, doing arts and crafts with the boys, playing with my kids, taking care of the dogs, bathing kids, putting them to bed, feeding the dogs, etc.  Once my kids are in bed I tackle the house.  I pick up, clean dishes, fold laundry, vacuum, clean the floors, the bathrooms, put the house back together again.

While doing all of this I am running two small home business, going to school for my Associate's Degree in Criminal Justice, our FRG Secretary, and the Village Deputy Mayor (for the on post housing village I live in).  I am not only the mother, but the fill in dad when my husband is answering the Army's call.  I'm 19 hours from our families and 17 hours from my best friend.

To be frank, I never thought of myself as anything special.  I mearly thought I was just doing my job as a wife and mother.  All of the above is what is to be expected, right?  I know I'm not alone.  I just go about my daily life with a smile on my face.  Truth is, I love my life.  While there are ups and down, good days and HORRIBLE days, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Would it be nice to be around family?  Would it be nice to have a helping hand once in a while?  Sure!!  But this is the life my husband and I chose.  With it comes many securities that I'm not ready to let go of.  So while I do have friends out there that look at me as some Super Woman, I am not.  I'm just an ordinary person.  I'm just a mother and a wife....who happens to have a husband/daddy in the Army.

I HAVE to live with this kind of perspective on life.  I spent the first couple years of my husbands career in the Army feeling sorry for myself.  We have, more often then not, been "out of sight, out of mind" when it comes to our family back home.  And due to that, I don't want to go back.  I refuse to live with that sadness in my heart and the bitterness.  This has been an emotional roller coaster of a ride for me the last several years but I've come to find my place, I've come to realize who I am.

I had often doubted myself and my capabilities as a mother and wife.  But I know that I am a damned good wife and mother!  But I also know that I do not "deserve" to be praised for it, nor to I expect to be held to any other standard than anyone else.

I guess I kind of got sidetracked here with my ramblings as I often do, but I just needed to jot all of this down while I had a few minutes to myself before I hit the shower and read my devotionals.

Stay tuned.  This weekend I should be blogging about our newest care packages we'll be sending out to daddy!!

xoxo

Deployment #2: Let the Roller Coaster begin.

My husband, my hero, has departed on his second tour to Afghanistan.  It's hard to put into words the emotions that you feel during this time.  While at the same time you just want to send them off already (the quicker they leave, the quicker they return...right?) you're heart feels as though it's being ripped out of your chest and stomped on.  You're emotionally spent, often times can't seem to catch your breath or ease the nausea in your gut.  Yet, you're heart flutters with pride at the same time.

This isn't our first rodeo though, so I feel as though I was emotionally prepared the best that I could be.  While my heart aches for my husband's presence here, I feel as though I'm adjusting and coping well (especially in comparison to last deployment).

I have several friends who are on this roller coaster with me, yet it's their first deployment.  My heart hurts so much to see them settling into depression and anxiety.  I know how they feel.  I did not cope well last deployment.  It was EXTREMELY rough on myself, my marriage and my family.  I was not in a good mental state, I had a serious lack of a steady support system, I lived off post, and had almost no friends at all.  I was bound and determined to jump out of my comfort zone this time.

Not only have I been involved with our FRG for nearly 4 years now, but I have also taken on the position of Deputy Mayor for the village I live in on post, enrolled my boys in sports throughout the summer, enrolled myself in full time college to earn my degree in Criminal Justice, joined a wonderful company selling Scentsy (holla!!), made new friends, etc.

The key to making it through deployment is embracing it!  Yes, we are without our husbands, yes they are in war (very real, very VERY scary), yes we are sexually deprived.  But does that define us?  Surely they would not want us suffering the entire time they are gone.

One of my favorite past times during deployment is coming up with fun and creative Care Package idea's.  Themed boxes, shopping for things to fill them, packaging them up, writing love notes, taking pictures, recording video's, and sending them off to my love down range.  Not only does this let them know that you love them more than ever but that you are constantly thinking of them.  I'm a worrier.  I wonder if he's eating and sleeping, if he's healthy or sick.  My way of taking care of my Soldier is by packaging up my love and sending it to him.

Ladies, it's okay to be sad and it's okay to cry.  It's sure as hell okay to have bad days now and again.  But join with me, lets stand strong, lock arms, and face this deployment in the same manner our Soldiers are.  Brave and Strong.  We will NOT be knocked down and we will not be defeated!

My home is always open.  Chick flick's, popcorn, wine, spa treatments, care package parties, gossiping, and crying together!  We can do this.  Our men need us to hold up the homefront, to keep it together, and to support them and love them.  So let's wipe our tears and start smiling.  Each new day is another day down, another day closer to painting welcome home signs!

Many hugs to all of my fellow deployment buddies!
xoxo

Here's my Easter package!  One of 3 boxes I'm sending in his first batch!

Judgemental Christians

The title sounds like an oxymoron, doesn't it?

Let's face it, I spend a lot of time on Facebook.  More than I should or would like to admit.  But as a spouse to a member of our Military and being so far from home it's my main connection to "home".

I was raised as a Christian, non-denominational to be exact.  So I have a lot of "Christians" in my family and friends circles.  But yet, I'm constantly seeing posts/pictures/quotes/status that are less than Christ like.

Two of the BIGGIES are the gays and those that are pro-life (and everything that comes along with that). Side note-I am not going to discuss my own personal beliefs because it is besides the point of what I am trying to accomplish here.

As a Christian, don't you think you should change your attitude about this?  Who's place is it to judge anyone's lifestyle choices?  Certainly not yours!  Christ taught us to love each other unconditionally, just has he loved the church.  UNCONDITIONALLY!!!  That means, you are to love the gays just as Christ loves the gays.  You are to love those who've had abortions, just as Christ loves them. You are to love the drug addicts and alcoholics, just as Christ loves them.  You are NOT the ones who are to judge them.  You may not agree with their life choices.  They may not match your morals.  But that doesn't matter.  Christ teaches us to accept a person for WHO THEY ARE!  To love them without discrimination.  No matter what race, religion, sexual preference, etc.

Remember the scripture in the bible that states that you shouldn't judge because you WILL be judged?  Everyone will have their judgement day in front of Jesus, and that's when they will answer for the things they've done in life.  Just the same as YOU will!  Just as we all will, equally.

So how about you save that for the big man upstairs to deal with.  If you're going to call yourself a Christian, you should act like one.  Shoving your beliefs or morals down someone throat is not Christlike.  But supporting someone, loving them unconditionally, and being there for them in tough times IS what you should be doing.  Showing others the same kind of love that Christ shows to you.

Why do you think so many people hate Christians?  Or hate the church?  Because they are some of the most judgmental people on the planet.  So what if you smoke cigarettes, is that going to send you to hell?  NO!  So why judge them?

My point is, open your hearts and learn to accept people for who they are.  Pray for them and love them!  Show them the love that Christ shows you.  Maybe one day, people will renew how they view "Christians".

Review time!!!

So it's been a little while since I've made my DIY household items.  I'm happy to say that I'm about 90% satisfied!  Which makes me very happy as well as our bank account!

The laundry detergent was a HUGE success!!  I don't think our clothes have EVER felt as clean as they do now.  Not only that, myself and my kids skin is noticing a huge difference.  I will say that I do not care for the smell of the Fels-Naptha bar soap.  So with my next batch I am going to try using Ivory.  I'll be sure to let you know if that makes much of a difference in the cleaning power.  But my clothes are bright, whites are WHITE, and stains are still coming out with a breeze.  Super pleased and I don't plan to EVER buy a commercial laundry detergent again!  YAY!

My salt scrub was "eh".  I didn't care for the initial recipe I posted using the sea salt and lemon juice.  So I switched it up a bit.  I used Epsom salt and essential lemon oil, along with the sunflower oil I used initially.  WAY better!!!  I LOVE it!!  Not only do I shave with it, I scrub down with it at the end of my shower.  Voila!  No more moisturizers needed!  Plus I smell lemony fresh, haha.  I love it!  My dry skin has taken a drastic turn for the better. =D

As far as the cleaners, not much to say other than I am very pleased with them and I feel that they clean very well.

As for the dishwasher detergent...UGH!  I found it to be an epic fail.  I didn't use it until this week because we were trying to finish up the one we'd bought.  So when I went to use it a few days ago it was HARD!  Yeah...I had to take the hand of a spoon and break it back up to a powder.  The cleaning power is worthless!  I am pretty certain my dishes went in the dishwasher cleaner than they came out.  I *may* try again using vinegar as a rinsing agent before I toss it all out.  I am bound and determined to find a formula that does work though.  Once I do, have tested it to make sure it works, I will share will all of you lovely people.

Body Wash-I'm fairly pleased with it so far.  I am having to play around with the amounts of glycerin though.  I'm finding that different bars of soaps require different amount.  But over all, I'm happy with it.

I have yet to make the fabric softener because I have a large box of dryer sheets I'm trying to use up first, but I'm pretty confident it's going to be a WIN!



So there you have it.  Living frugally is paying off in the long run.  I'm so happy to be able to share this with all of you and more than happy to be your guinea pig.

Stay tuned!

Change of Seasons

The Army life is like a constant changing of the seasons.  Nothing stays the same for long.  People walk in and out of your life, but one thing remains the same.  As the spouse of a Soldier...you're often times alone.  Or so the case has been for me.

If it weren't for the Army I would have never met my dearest best friend in the world.  But as fate would have it, the Army took her away from me.  Sending her to follow her husband to a new duty station, in a new state.  I miss her more than I could ever explain.

I've met some great friends throughout the four years we've been here at Fort Carson.  But as you would assume, some have PCS'd, ETS'd, or the friendship in itself just dissolved.

As we are gearing up to start our second deployment, I'm finding myself in this funk....again...
I remember how hard it was last time.  How alone I often felt.  How I felt suffocated and trapped.

I am bound and determined to not let it end up the same this go around.  But not having a group of friends here makes that difficult.  I firmly believe that no matter what walk of life you are from or living...everyone needs to have a support system around them.  People to vent to, to cry to, to laugh with, to escape with, etc.

I'm really not sure where I am going with this.  Just have this urge to purge some of these disgusting emotions that have been eating me inside lately.  It's a way for me to cope with the wide range of emotions.  I'm just kind of all over the board here.

I have a list of "deployment goals", I have a couple trips planned out, I have things to look forward to (like sending my first born off to Kindergarten), etc.  I only pray that this will help pass the time and ease the empty feeling in my soul while my husband is serving overseas.  I also pray that God will place a few positive and genuine people in my life.

I will come out on top.  I will not feel sorry for myself.  I will stay positive.  I will keep pushing forward with a smile on my face.  I've done this before, I can do it again....and BETTER!

Another productive day!

Today I made body wash and dishwasher detergent!  Let me tell you just how excited I am about this!  For pennies I made enough of both to last me MONTHS!!!!!  How exciting is that?  I can hear my bank account thanking me.  =D

Body Wash/Hand Soap


What you'll need:

1 bar of soap (any kind, I used an all natural oatmeal and almond one and it cost me $0.97 at Walmart)
1/2 gallon distilled water ($1 at Safeway)
2 tablespoons of Vegetable Glycerin (I found this at Whole Foods, but you should be able to find it in the pharmacy are of any store, or ask the pharmacist, it cost just over $3 and I only used a teeny tiny bit.)
Large boiling pot
Container for storing

Grate your bar of soap with a cheese grater and pour into the water in the pot.  Add your glycerin (I used 3 Tbs. to make it a little thicker but it ended up being too thick, so just use 2).  Warm on the stove until all of the soap has melted.  Stirring gently as to not create too many suds.  Once it was done I poured it into a gallon size plastic container with a pour spout lid and Up-cycled an old body wash container that I will use to re-fill.  And that's IT!  It was so simple and fast to make.  Make sure to let it sit and cool off.  Cooling off takes several hours and it will continue to thicken up.  So if it's a little runny at first, don't worry!  This makes TONS of body wash that can also be used as hand soap.  Total cost for me to make it was about $1.60 or so.  It will last me months!

Dishwasher Detergent

This made 1.3 gallons of powdered dishwasher detergent.  Using only 1-2 Tbs. per wash load, it's going to last a lifetime (okay well not a lifetime but it'll sure feel like it!!)

What you'll need:

1 box Borax

1 box Washing Soda

24 packages of unsweetened lemonade (you need this for the citric acid, if you can find regular plain citric acid that works too, but I couldn't.  I used Kool-aid brand)

3 Cups Epsom Salt 

You'll want to mix this all together evenly.  You'll need a very large mixing bowl to do so.  Use 1-2 tablespoons per load.  If you have spots on your dishes you can use vinegar as a rinsing agent.  =)

I've been a busy bee today...see what I did!!

Oy!  I've been a busy bee, working away at making some fun stuff!  I have more planned for tomorrow =)  No worries though, everything I'm about to share with you was simple as pie!!  I'm AMAZED at how far this stuff stretches.  I haven't added the numbers yet but I'd say that to buy all of the ingredients for the things I'm making/have made/will make, I've spend less than $75.  I will be able to make probably a years worth (if not longer) product with what I have bought as far as ingredients go.

This includes:

Laundry Detergent
Cloth Diaper Detergent
Fabric Softener
Sugar Scrub
Salt Scrub
Dishwasher Detergent
Anti-bacteria Spray
All Purpose Cleaner
Bathroom Cleaner
Wood Polish
Carpet Stain Remover
Shampoo
Body Wash/Hand Soap

And so many more that I can't think of them all right off.  Just for the items I listed above, I'd EASILY spend $100 on a month, if not more.  I am so excited to say that I won't have to make my stuff but ever 3-6 months (I'm guessing) and that I have more than enough to make more batches before ever having to pick up more ingredients.  Holla!!!  So below I am going to share with you my own twist on recipes I have found.  You can cut them in half, double them, or use my recommended amounts.  Whatever you see fit.  In the next few days I will be making more stuff, so keep your eyes peeled!!

Laundry Detergent


What you'll need:
1 bar Fels-Naptha Soap (you can find this in the laundry isle of Walmart, and you can subsitute with whatever bar soap you'd like.  I might try Ivory whenever I run out....WAY down the road haha!)
3 Cups Washing Soda (also found in the laundry isle of Walmart-I use Arm and Hammer)
3 Cups Borax (again found in the laundry isle of Walmart-I use 20 Mule Team)
1 teaspoon essential oil of your choice (this is purely to add scent and it totally optional)

You will need to grate your bar of soap with a cheese grater (I have a 4 sided one and used the finest grater side for smaller pieces).  Pour in the rest of your ingredients and mix well.  I used a 1.5 gallon plastic canister (I found a set of 4 in different sizes at Walmart for around $6) and I just put the lid on it and shook it REALLY well until it was evenly mixed.  *Use 2 tablespoons per wash load* This is safe for HE machines.  I have a front loader and I put the detergent straight into the drum rather than using the soap dispenser (as I'm not sure how well it would work since this is a powder).

(grated soap)

(All mixed together)

Cloth Diaper Detergent

As all cloth diaper parents know, special CD detergent is EXPENSIVE!!!!  Well, fear no longer....you can make your own at home for like...I don't know.....$0.50??  

What you'll need:

1 Cup Washing Soda

1 Cup Baking Soda

1/2 Cup Borax

Mix all ingredients WELL into whatever container you choose.  I used the smallest canister that came in the set of 4 I bough.  It's 850ml and plastic.  Perfect size! You use 1-2 tablespoons per load depending on how soiled they are.  This will last you quite a while and costs only pennies!  So stop wasting money and start making your own!  Anything for an excuse to add to your stash...right? =)

Bath, Sink, & Tile Cleaner

This will work wonders in cleaning everything in your bathroom!  This will be thick and almost pasty.  I put it in a spray bottle but I'm thinking I might need to Up-Cycle an old dish soap bottle later for it.  I also double the recipe below so that I had a full bottle.

What you'll need:

2/3 Cup Baking Soda

1/2 Cup Castile Soap (liquid and any scent you choose.  I used Rose because that's what I had)

2 Tbsp. Vinegar

1/2 Cup Water

a few drops of Tea TreeOil (TTO is an all natural fungicide, germicide and is an antibacterial)

Mix together in the container of your choice and get to cleaning! 

All Purpose Cleaner

Pretty much self explanatory.  I used a spray bottle to mix it in.

What you'll need:

1 tsp. Borax

2 Tbsp. Vinegar

1/2 tsp. Washing Soda

1/2 tsp. Castile Soap

20 drops Tea Tree Oil

2 Cups Hot Water (to make sure it mixes well at first)

Shake it all up and keep with your household cleaners.

Antibacterial Spray

This is incredibly simple!!  Lavender is a  natural antibacterial.  So while so many of use have spent tons of money on lysol to keep those germs away for years, we can now do it for almost nothing!!

What you'll need:

Water

Lavender Essential Oil

Fill a spray bottle (Up-Cycle one if you can) with water and add 60 drops of lavender essential oil and shake.  I know that sounds like a lot of oil, but it's really not.  I plan to use this to pray the insides of my trash cans, and other hard surfaces to keep germs away.

DIY Sugar & Salt Scrubs

Tonight I made my very own sugar and salt scrubs.  I know many of us, myself included, have paid BIG bucks from places like Bath and Body Works and Victoria Secret for the same thing.  I made each of these for probably less than a dollar per half pint.  Are you excited yet??  I am!

I originally found these recipes by stumbling on them through blogs online.  I have now made them myself and tweaked them to my liking.  I made both of them in half pint mason jars.  I use these to shave with, exfoliate, and as a foot scrub.  Heavenly!  They will leave your skin feeling like silk.

Lemon Sugar Scrub


What you'll need:   13 TBS Fine Sea Salt
                             3 TBS Sunflower Oil
                             2 TBS of Pure Lemon Juice or 2 squeezed
                             lemons

(After making this with Lemon Juice I found the lemon scent to be weak.  I like a fairly strong lemon scent. I think I may add a few drops of lemon essential oil next time just to enhance the scent)

(edited to say after a few uses I found the sea salt to be a little too abrasive, along with the lemon.  So I am going to try epsom salt and lemon essential oil instead with the next batch.  If I like it better, I will post the new recipe in a new blog entry 1/2/12.) =)

In a bowl you'll measure out your salt and oil and mix together.  It is important to mix the salt and oil before adding the lemon.  Once the salt is coated in oil the lemon will not dissolve it.  Once the salt is coated, measure out/add your lemon juice and mix together. Then pack it into a half pint mason jar.  You may also Up-Cycle any container of your liking.  I plan to also wash out an old body cream container from Victoria Secret for future uses.  Voila!

Vanilla Sugar Scrub


What you'll need: Equal parts white and brown sugar
                           3 TBS Sunflower Oil
                           1 TBS Vanilla Extract (you may use a vanilla essential oil if you'd like, this for scent)

In a half pint Mason jar you'll pack in equal parts of white and brown sugar.  Then you'll dump into a bowl and mix with your oil and vanilla.  Mix well and pack back into your jar.  Now you're ready to hit the shower!!

*Note-you can substitute the oil for olive oil if you like, but I prefer Sunflower oil.  It's still packed full of antioxidants and it's a lot more affordable.  You can find it in the baking isle at your local grocery store next to the rest of the baking oils.

**If you store your scrubs in the shower as I do, you may want to have a tongue depresser, spoon, or scooping mechanism of your liking to scoop out the scrubs.  This will prevent any bacteria from getting into and growing in your scrub.

List of Ingredients for Household products

2012 I am dedicated to living frugally, as most of you know.  Being green and natural is what I am dedicated myself and my family to.  It's really not as complicated as most tend to think.  In this post I am going to provide you a list of ingredients and a list of the things I will make with them.  So it will be short and sweet. ;-)

Later I will post a blog with recipes on Do It Yourself Beauty Recipe's.  YAY!!

What I will be making in the weeks to come:

Laundry Detergent
Fabric Softener
Wood Polish
All Purpose Cleaner
Body Wash
Shampoo
Hand Soap
Grease Cutter
Antibacterial Spray
Toilet Bowl Cleaner
Dishwasher Detergent
Window Cleaner
Microwave Cleaner
Carpet Stain Remover
Carpet Re-Fresher
Homemade Room Spray

Sounds like a lot right?  Feeling overwhelmed?  DON'T!!!  Many of these items call for a lot of the same ingredients.  Many of the ingredients are easy on the pocket book, go along way, and will make you enough products to last you months and months and months!  Fear not, you too can become frugal and save your family from those nasty chemicals!!

List of ingredients I will be getting initially, all of which should last me quite some time and get lots of different products made:

A Lemon
Olive/Sunflower Oil
Borax (20 Mule Team)
Arm & Hammer Washing Soda
Fels-Naptha Bar Soap
Distilled Water
Castile Soap
Essential Oils (these are for fragrance and can be whatever you like)
Vinegar
Spray Bottles (you may recycle ones you already have, same goes for any other container but I don't have any right now)
Mason Jars
Pitcher w/pour spout lid
Citric Acid
Epsom Salt
Suave Conditioner (edited to add that I will actually be making my own conditioner and will use that in my fabric softener as well.)
Rubbing Alcohol
Hydrogen Peroxide
Tea Tree Oil  (a natural germicide, fungicide, and anti bacterial)
Lavender Oil (natural anti bacterial)
Vegetable Glycerin
Toms (or similar) All Natural Bar Soap

If you don't already have a cheese grater, you will need one.

I know that it sounds like a lot, but really most of these items are fairly inexpensive and you will be HUNDREDS of dollars worth of products out of these....and enough of the product (like I said) to last you a fairly long time.  Most, if not all, of these items can be found in your local Walmart, Walgreens, etc.

GO GREEN and LIVE FRUGALLY!!

Stay tuned for my reviews and Beauty Recipes.

Top 14 things to NOT say to a Military Spouse.

1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"

(This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds ---but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)

2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."

(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)

3. "At least he's not in Iraq."

(This is the number one most annoying comment for those whose husbands are in Afghanistan. What do they think is happening in Afghanistan? An international game of golf? Guys are fighting and dying over there.)

4. "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?" (Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again.)

5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"

  (Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.)

6. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"

  (This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out. Many of them keep signing back up again and again because they actually love what they do or they VOLUNTEER AGAIN and AGAIN to go back overseas  b/c there is work that needs to be done.)

7. "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."

  (Sure, we do learn coping skills and its true the more deployments you've gone through, the easier dealing with it becomes. And we figure out ways to make life go smoother while the guys are gone. But it never gets "easy" and the bullets and bombs don't skip over our guys just because they've been there before. The worry never goes away.)

8. "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."

 (This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a shitty ford taurus with mercedes convertible.)

9. "Wow you must miss him?"

(This one also gets antoher big "duh". Of course we miss our men. There are some wives who do not and they're now divorced.)

10. "Where is he exactly? Where is that?"

(I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a map, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq. Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan. Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day ---and on maps everywhere.)

11. "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there"

  (Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.)

12. "Don't you miss sex! I couldn't do it!"

(hmmm, no i don't miss sex. i'm a robot. seriously...military spouses learn quickly that our relationships must be founded on something greater than sex. We learn to appreciate the important things, like simply hearing their voices, seeing their faces, being able to have dinner together every night. And the hard truth is, most relationships probably couldn't withstand 12 months of sex deprivation.)

13. "Well in my opinion....."

  (Stop right there. Yo, I didn't ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a bar when I'm out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politics or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we're trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.)

last but not least....

14. "OH, that's horrible...I'm so sorry!"

(He's doing his job and he's a badass. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)