Day 4 struck a note with me. It was titled Comparing Trials. One thing I've noticed and am often annoyed with in this lifestyle is that everything is a "pissing match". Every other wife/significant other thinking that they have it worse, or that their Soldier has it worse. Then they compare their trials, tribulations, and hardships. Seriously? Does our Military not all work to the bone (especially during deployments)? Do they not all work together? Do they not all have the same stresses and hardships? Yes, they do!
We all face deployments, some more often than others. But the point is that we all face them at some point. My husband is currently on his second. Aren't they all hard? Yes!
Do some Soldiers have more ammenties than others? More communication avenues at their fingertips than others? Yes. But we should not be knocking down the wives who do get more phone calls/emails/skype dates than we do. It's not their fault, it just happens to be the circumstances. Do some of our husbands have slightly harder, more demanding jobs? Yes, but that does not give us the right to become bitter towards those who may "have it easier" so to speak.
The bottom line is we are all dealing with the same thing...deployment. We are all dealing with taking on a double load at home. We are all dealing with separation and everything that comes along with that. So why can't we just be happy for our fellow sisters and be a shoulder for the ones who may be struggling a little more than others?
Jealousy is an ugly thing. Our first deployment was very rough. Communication was awful and care packages too an eternity to get down range. But I tell you one thing, each time I was able to hear from him was a blessing. It may not have been often and it may have been broken up, but it was a blessing nonetheless.
Back in the wars throughout history, families back home were lucky to get a letter every couple of months. Think about that before you become resentful. Be happy that you have the communication that you DO have!
Here are a few excerpts from the book I want to share.
"As I listened to her share with broken voice and many tears, I'm ashamed to admit I had no compassion for her whatsoever. The first thing that jumped into my mind was, 'You call that bad? Try being a Military wife! We hardly ever get to live near our extended families. We don't even live with our own husbands half the time!' "
"I carried my 'I have it worse than you' attitude home with me that day. I snuggled up to it to make myself feel more virtuous or worthy somehow. But the tighter I held on to it, the less Christ was able to use me. I used my own trials as something to be proud of. What a ridiculous thing to boast about!"
"Proverbs 14:10 says, 'The heart knows it's own bitterness and a stranger does not share it's joy.' When I read that verse, it seems to tell me that each person's burden causes him or her a pain that should not be diminished just because someone else has it worse. It is impossible and worthless to compare trials. A truly humble person would have compassion and bear others' burdens no matter how they 'rank' next to my own."
"In Galations 6:2, Paul does not say, 'Bear one another's burdens only if you deem the burden of sufficient magnitude. If it isn't a big deal to you, go ahead and let your sister in Christ figure it out on her own. She'll get over it, 'We are to bear another's burdens. Period!"
"Philippians 2:4-5 tells us, 'Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus."
So as I close the first part of this two part blog, my prayers is that we can all look out for each other. Neither become jealous or bitter of another's circumstances but feel blessed for what we do have and reach out to those that are struggling. The Army life should never be a "I have it worse than you do" scenario. We are all here for the same purpose, so lets remember that. <3
Okay....so my goal this deployment is to spice up the care packages I send to my Soldier. This one was all lovey dovey and I had a ton of fun with it. I filled it with goodies, nothing too spectacular, but I wanted him to smile when he opened it up and know that I put a lot of love and thought into it. It took forever, and I know that once he's emptied it's contents it will be burned (they have to burn all of their mail-envelopes, packaging, etc for security reasons) but it's still fun nonetheless. I also bought heart shaped card stock and wrote random love notes on them and tossed them in there amongst the goodies. Here's the pic's!
That is the cutest thing I have ever seen! I never thought about decorating the inside of the boxes like that! Good job! I know he will feel your love all the way there <3
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